It's taken some time-maybe a whole lot of time-to learn this simple but valuable life lesson. If you go into a situation with realistic expectations you greatly reduce your chances of walking away disappointed.
What I'm really referring to is interactions with people in life. There's a saying that you can't get blood out of a stone and realistically the same may feel true for trying to get your emotional needs met from someone who struggles with the skills to give you what you need. Some people that enter your life are natural givers and providers of empathy, support and guidance, for others it's like trying to understand a foreign language.
John C. Maxwell in Thinking For A Change shares that "reality is the difference between what we wish and what is." He goes on to say that it took him a long time to learn that he couldn't possibly please everyone which is true for all of us but so is the flip side, we can't expect everyone else in our lives to please us all the time. It's time to be realistic and release the burden-if you are aware of those in your life who for whatever reason are not able to meet your emotional needs then you can significantly reduce your chances of being disappointed by them. Release the expectation and reduce your disappointment.
There's no blame or shaming here. We come into this world with an innate desire to empathize with those we care about but sometimes the path to expressing it becomes blocked by different things such as mixed or unclear messages, or even fear of what may happen or has happened to us in the past. The good news is change is possible and once the blocks can be identified, they can be released as well.
"Change alone doesn't bring growth but you cannot have growth without change" -John C. Maxwell. Growth and change within a relationship of any kind is a two way street and requires a willingness on both sides to take a realistic look in the mirror.